I am writing this piece to help sensitive-but-not-fragile people empower themselves and in turn feel safer listening to and lifting up the voices of others.
The following seem to be important reminders for those of us who want to keep (or begin) putting one foot in front of the other and are spiraling a bit.
Reminder 1: Growth requires learning requires ignorance/not-knowing-yet and mistakes, aka exposure. Exposure can be scary.
Reminder 2: Both exposure and fear can be safe and empowering.
Suggestion: Check to see if, perhaps, you are actually safe in your fear, and safe to stand up for your and others’ right to grow.
Reminder 3: Shaming generally inhibits the exposure/learning/growth cycle in moderately healthy human beings. It seems generally useful to refrain from sarcasm and belittling others, or from sanctifying the sarcasm and belittling of others. We can be more creative.
Reminder 4: Even strong voices may come from scared people.
Suggestion: Try saying “I’m afraid, too.” It may often be most useful/efficient to say this on the inside and hang out with that a bit.
Reminder 5: It’s ok to disagree, even with strong people who seem to have more facts. It’s also ok to disagree with AND stand with. (See Reminder 10.)
Reminder 6: There are different ways of knowing.
Reminder 7: Perfectionism is NOT required. (In addition to being paralytic.)
Some people say being alive is a guilty state. If that seems true to you, or partially true or if it simply helps you get traction, I suggest using it. You can always re-evaluate.
Reminder 8: Sometimes being right doesn’t matter. What moves you into more truth, more solidarity with other human beings? Try that.
Suggestion: Experiment. Gather data. Course-refine as you go.
Reminder 9: You’re doing this WITH OTHER PEOPLE. If you want.
Suggestion: DO THIS WITH OTHER PEOPLE.
Reminder 10: We don’t have to agree on everything to agree on and take action toward some very important and basic things.
In solidarity, Liz
